UK: No money talk please - we're British

Older parents and children unwilling to discuss finance and growing old

Parents and children are shying away from the taboos of money, getting old and death - despite the growing need for families to talk about financial planning for the future, according to new research.

Tricky issues such as how parents will manage financially as they get older, where they will live, who will look after them and who will inherit their money can have a major affect on the entire family.

Yet a study by the leading equity release provider, Norwich Union shows that UK families have a problem talking about finance: as few as 14 per cent of older parents have discussed financial concerns with their grown-up children - and while nearly 90 per cent of older parents felt it was their responsibility to raise the topic, just under half of grown-up children agreed.

Leading psychologist Dr Aric Sigman, who has teamed up with Norwich Union’s equity release division to offer advice on broaching the subject, says: “Sex has in many ways been surpassed by money as THE difficult, or taboo, subject to discuss.”

The Norwich Union research, carried out nationwide among older parents aged 55-70, and their children in the 30-45 age group, also reveals:

• The biggest worry among 55-70 year olds is losing their partner, with nearly a third naming ‘ill health’, and 18 per cent ‘financing their retirement’, as their chief concern
• Four out of five are planning to use their pension to fund old age, while nearly half will use their savings. One in 10 is looking upon Equity Release - unlocking cash from the home - as a way to fund old age
• Women find it easier than men to talk to their children about financial matters connected to getting older
• The Granny Flat is likely to be left behind in the 21st Century, as fewer and fewer people are keen to have their older parents living with them

Dr Sigman added: “Money still retains a secretive quality because it represents fundamental issues such as security, freedom and status - so a discussion about money isn't just about pounds and pence, it really opens up a whole range of important issues.

“Families don't just have emotional histories and dynamics - they also have emotional attitudes to money, especially in the way it affects them. We tend to deal with financial issues more or less secretively, with different family members playing different roles.

“The problem is that although families need to talk about these new retirement years more than ever, a new embarrassment has set in - a case of ‘No money talk please… we're British’."

The survey also reveals that while seven out of 10 older parents are ‘holding back’ to provide an inheritance, 87 per cent of grown-up children would rather their parents enjoyed their money and had a comfortable retirement. And yet although children are not expecting an inheritance from their parents, they are still planning on leaving one for their own children.

Buying any retirement product, such as Equity Release, is a major financial decision and Norwich Union recommends that older people first discuss it with their family and financial advisor, whether it’s an IFA or solicitor.

Paul Stokes, of Norwich Union, said: “No-one likes to acknowledge that they’re getting old - but change can be sudden, and it’s important to embrace the subject, particularly as talking about these things helps you to prepare for the future.

“And while some may feel perfectly well-equipped to broach potentially sensitive discussions with loved ones, our survey also found that over one in three adults wish there was more information available to help families have difficult conversations.”

For more information see attached tip sheet at the end of the release.

Press contact:
Jo Misson, Howard Bowden or Matthew Buchanan at QBO on 020 7379 0304.

Notes to editors

• More information is available at www.norwichunion.co.uk/talkingmoney.
• Norwich Union commissioned independent nationwide market research amongst 254 adults aged 55-70 years old and 249 adults aged 30 to 45 years old in October 2002.
• The plans provide a lifetime loan secured on property. Full written terms and conditions are available on request.
• CHECK THAT THIS MORTGAGE WILL MEET YOUR NEEDS IF YOU WANT TO MOVE OR SELL YOUR HOME OR YOU WANT YOUR FAMILY TO INHERIT IT. IF IN DOUBT, SEEK INDEPENDENT ADVICE.
• Norwich Union is the UK’s largest insurer. It is the UK’s largest provider of life, pensions and investment products and one of the leading IFA providers. IFAs provide around 75% of the company’s long-term savings business.
• Norwich Union has strategic alliances with over 20 building societies and other leading UK brand names including Tesco Personal Finance and The Royal Bank of Scotland Group.
• Norwich Union’s news releases are available on the internet at www.aviva.com
• A selection of images is available from the Norwich Union Newscast site at www.newscast.co.uk
• An ISDN facility is available for studio-quality interviews. Call the press office on 08703 66 68 68.

For all life and pensions media enquiries, call 08703 66 68 73
For all other media enquiries 08703 66 68 68

Members of the General Insurance Standards Council
Members of the Aviva group

Talking money tip sheet

Norwich Union has teamed up with leading psychologist and broadcaster Dr Aric Sigman to offer the following helpful advice on how to discuss tricky issues with your family:

• Don’t be an ostrich and put your head in the sand. Decide that you need to talk about financial arrangements after retirement and make a firm commitment to put the topic on the agenda
• Remember you’re all grown-ups. It’s understandable that parents seek to protect their children and hence want to avoid ‘burdening’ them by involving them in grown-up discussions about money, health and future vulnerability. But children want to be involved and are affected by the well- being of their parents.
• Setting the agenda. Talking about an important family issue often involves a mix of persuading, discussing, telling, enquiring and reassuring. Ultimately parents will have to ask themselves difficult questions and need the help of their children to answer:
  • What are our needs going to be?
  • What do we want?
  • What do we have?
  • What do we need?
  • What solutions are available to us?
  • Enlist the help of your grown-up children to answer key questions regarding your future.
• Choose your moment. It may be a casual chat over dinner, a weekend family get-together or a more formal meeting.
• Don’t treat the conversation as a grim and deadly serious business. This can make things worse, so treat the subject with a lightness of touch.
• It’s important for older parents not to feel patronised by their children. Parents never loose the feeling of responsibility for their children and the nature of your chat should always assume it’s the parents who are ultimately in charge of the situation. When it comes to touchy subjects, ‘asking’ and ‘suggesting’ are better than ‘telling’.
• Discussing technical arrangements for a will can be a good way to ease into the subject of inheritance. It’s relatively simple to cover off arrangements made with your solicitor about a will – and it can help raise the more emotional topic of inheritance. You should also pass on full details about your solicitor, IFA or accountant, as well as details on other investments… and where all your paperwork is stored.
• Women tend to confront the issue while men may hide from it. You might find it’s easier for mothers and daughters to broach the topic first - and then include the rest of the family in the debate.
• Consider using an independent financial or other advisor to help you have the conversation. Your IFA is ideally placed to help facilitate a more formal meeting, and it might be an ideal way to introduce other members of your family who might need some direction in their financial affairs.